Archive for the ‘Magic’ Tag

Loss   9 comments

How to define without coming across as a whiny whinge moron.

Do not know so to hell with it and I will do it anyway.

So my lesson which I have to learn is Loss, which most people suffer from at some time in their life, so why this? I do not know. How much is enough, and how can you write or explain how it felt 30 years ago, or even 2 weeks, so someone else can understand, not sympathise, but just understand. Tricky, but I would not be trying if it were not important.

First thing first, how do I know it is Loss I need to learn? Because over the last couple of days I have been told this direct into the brain, not a suggestion, but as Fact. The “other” way The Gods talk to me, rather than through dream/visions, of which I had the confirming one this morning just before I woke up. But I will come to that in a bit.

But over the last few days I have been thinking about what have I lost, important things, over the years. And some of these I have not thought about for years. Memories have been stirred, and in the past I have thought about and accepted, so the Pain has been dealt with.

So going back, way back, when I was 3ish being put in care in East London because mother Rita could not cope with 3 small kids between 1 and 5 after him leaving her. I have remembered snapshots of me running away from care back to mother in tears and her sending me back into care. How the hell I found Rita I know not, but I was probably guided to her by Andi and my Gods, even back then.

Fast forward a few years to 6 and my only friend in school was Samantha Wild, She was the only one to play with me, but then her family moved to Scotland. I lost my only friend in the world. I still think about her now and again.

Age 7. I was told, no forbidden, to phone Rita ever again, only because she told him that I was not his. From that day I lost my pride, self-respect, self-confidence, and then the shit really hit the fan at home. Including self-destruction, well I tried anyway.

Whiz forward, see the years fly by to when I was 16, found the Voice, the first Woman I ever Loved, but not in love with. My Angel.

17 Started to lose mobility, sleep and ability due to the disease which is raping every joint in my body, from my neck down to my toes. The older I get, the less movement from my joints and the more pain. DNA, I was made this way.

21 Angel disappeared from public view, I was crushed, despite many letters sent to Her, asking to work with Her, all were sent back RTS.

24 Lost my father and everything I thought I knew about me when he told me I was a bastard, “no son of mine”. Including my place within the “Family home” Guilt, Rage, Pain, Anger, but most of all Loss.

24/5 Lost my nephew aged about 7. No age to die, even though I bargained with Morrigan, my Dark Queen, I still remained and She took him.

28 Lost my freedom, although I knew it not then, but I know it now. Also I further lost any self-respect or pride over the years. It is just that I did not see it until it was way too late. Also lost my only two goods friends, due to situations beyond my control.

30 Angel came back into public view

31/2 Angel went from public view, again. Once again my loss.

33ish Finally lost my mind to depression, about 8 years in a wasteland, living on auto pilot not giving a shit about anything, least of all myself. Just doing to keep the family fed and clothed and amused.

40ish Angel on FB, me on FB, me told Angel how I felt, me left FB

41 Angel left FB

41 Lost my ability to leave due to conscience.

Sept last year, got Greebo, 6 week old black tabby tom kitten, which we were told was female and black

2 weeks ago, Greebo went out for the loo, and as not come back, with no sight nor sound of Him in this entire estate. That ripped the guts out of me. I have been in tears about that.

Even more so over the last 5 years or so, eyes are getting worse, short term memory is getting worse, and spelling is really getting worse. Even Long term is going a bit, songs which I have known and sang along to for years I can not remember the words. Also lost the ability to play guitar and I have not been able to meditate for more that 20 minutes for so long. And my ability to visualise has also gone to the wall.

Thursday last, I asked why must I keep losing out, why am I a loser. I was told To Learn.

This Morning (Saturday) (dream/vision) I was wearing my Studded Leather Jacket. Some kid standing behind me near a group of others I turned around, away, he jumped onto my back. I flipped my shoulders and he fell onto the floor, face first. I was kicking at his face, pulled his head back and slammed it again and again into the floor, (which is NOT how I do things, I wait for them to get up and then knock them down again, when they do not get up, I walk away. I Have Rules). By rights not even his dentist would have been able to identify him after what I did to his face. Yet not one drop of blood anywhere. I then bodily picked him up. One hand on his collar the other on his seat, raised him above my head and threw him head first onto the ground. In reality I have a fucked back and a very fucked hand. I might be able to pick up a cat, but not a person.

First reaction upon waking was Gods I am going to lose it in a fight, but then clarification came through, direct into my brain. Where Bloodless fighting, no-one dies, where? Everisle, the Land of Eternal Youth. Warrior skills and feats and tests, but no blood and no-one dies. The Home of the Gods and my Ancestors.

So have I learned my lesson? I think so, they think maybe. I will die and pass onwards with my Dark Queen to Everisle, where I will be whole and welcomed.

But it appears that I can not go just yet. But I really do not care anymore, I am going and passing over to there somewhen. It will happen, so what is a few years more. Why can I not go yet? I still have a job to do, which is look after Hilary, regardless of my ability, I have to look after her. For if I go then Jinkx will have to look after her Mother, and that will not be fair on the Kid. It is hard enough for me, let alone someone else having to do it. So I wait for Hil to pass over, wherever She decides to go to upon her death, then I will pass onwards and be judged worthy of my Gods and Ancestors.

 

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Headology   2 comments

Chatting to ElfKat about coming out as a Pagan at work and it got me thinking. I remember twice when I shut up the piss takers and bullies.

 

Once when doing some filming on farmland while I was with the Re-enactment group. It was nighttime and we had a massive fire going, I was dressed as I usually was, only in trousers and hide boots. and just because there was some mutterings going on I sat down in front of the fire, while the rest of the group were spread around on logs or sitting on the grass, I sat so close to the fire I could have been spit roasted. My main reason was to dry my boots, which had got soaked. I had my Indian Dagger tucked into my belt. Anyhow, the mutterings got louder, so slowly I drew my dagger, flung my arms wide and looked up to the sky, looked down at the fire and poked it with my dagger. I started muttering in fake Irish/Welsh, which I used on the battlefield for the crowds. I saw a couple of the lads get up and go over to the trees, and come back, while the muttering was watching me transfixed. Any way I once again flung my hands wide and looked up to the sky, but when I poked the fire a massive tree branch moved violently and the Guy who had been talking about me summoning Deamons jumped about 3 feet into the air, from a sitting position. I just looked at the tree and gave a nasty smile towards the tree. Pocked again and again the tree moved, and so did he. We told him what was going on, but he did shut up after that.

 

An interesting aside to this was that the film company were, we felt, taking the piss, and a group of us who were not filming at that time were sitting on the ground leaning against a fence. I had a re-curve bow in my hands, pointing straight up. I pulled back as far as I could, then relaxed. For some reason I notched an arrow, pulled back only a few inched, still pointing up, and my hand slipped of the string. The arrow went skywards like a rocket. By rights it should have flopped at my feet. It still went up, and then came down, all in the space of seconds, and landed inches from the assistant for the director. straight down. Had it hit her, I would have been up on a murder charge, because at the speed it was going, it would have gone right through her.

 

The second thing was I got invited out with a few lads from work, just after moving in with Hilary. My best mate Chris, and two others from work. Anyway the other two were riding me all night, all the way though the film, and into the carpark afterwards. I just said back in a bit and I walked off a little. I once again did my hand raised bit a few times and said in a loud voice, that will learn them, too right it will. A few minutes later Chris pulled me aside and said “Dave, mate, look can you not do that again please, it’s shitting them up”

“No Worries mate, just doing what I had to do”

Never got baited from them again.

For Starters   3 comments

Ok, I know I have been tardy in blogging, but my new page for those just starting on their Path is now up, and it will be updated as and when I get round to it.

Please feel free to use the information, but please be polite and remember where you found it. The reason why I am writing on here and not writing a book is 1) Saves Paper, 2) Not everyone can afford to buy a book at this time, and 3) Just because I can, and 4) I do not charge for Healing or readings, so why would I charge for this basic knowledge.

Walk in Faith and Balance

Sigel Reading   4 comments

Interesting, well it is to me, and it just goes to show that the Path and the Wheel are never stagnant. Since I accepted my Life, and stopped trying to “Ice-skate up hill” I woke up a few days ago and actually realised that I have now accepted my life, for all that it is.

This led to a slight subtle change within my Shaman Wheel, the knowledge came to me, and it as also led to the realisation that I now do not have any questions which to ask for Guidance by using my Sigel Set.

So yes, to me, it is Interesting. This has also led to the realisation that no, I am not cursed, as I believed I was for many years, but that was the feeling of everything going against you, because of the fact that I was so to speak “Going against the Grain” which was my life. There is no harm in trying to change your life, it is just that some things can not be changed, not yet. Anyhow, I did a General reading using my Stones, just because I could not think of a single damn question which I needed answering.

Before doing a reading I Ask
AndI Calm my Mind, Guide my Hand
Kaskai Guide my Mind, Guide my Hand
Danu and Morrigan Guide and Protect me, grant me the Boon of your Prophesy.

General Reading 21st September 2012

Self                                 Summer/South
Direction                     Will
Hope                             Life
Fear                              Lady
Past                              Night
Present                      Wait
Future                       Sage (wise old man)
Help                           Strength
Hinder                      Lust
Influence                Sea
Environment        Light
Outcome                Harmony

While some confused me to start with, Guidance came through, and it now makes sense. It translates (to Me) as follows:-
Protection and warmth within my self (South) as I follow my direction using my Will. The Hope of a Life is Fearful of a Woman in a Position of Power (Lady). My Past was dark and I could not see where I was going (Night) and I must Wait until now becomes the Past and then I will gain knowledge in myself (Sage). My Strength will aid me in this task, but Lust is going to be detrimental, (And there was me thinking I had got rid of Lust, but with this problem with my Visions, I guess it has crept back with the Need and desire to achieve). Water/West (Sea) has gained a lot of influence over the last few weeks, namely using Caer for attempts at Vision Quests, (Sea did confused me, but what is the sea, but Water/West.) And at this time I am Bright and able to see my Environment (my life) (Light) now.

All this will lead to me being in a state of Harmony, quite possibly with myself, (Gosh, that will be a first). And Harmony is Balance, Faith in Balance, myself in Balance, my Life in Balance. Or it could mean that I am going to join a choir, (Hell, not with my “Singing“ Voice, more like an out of tune growl from a mad and deaf Bear.) It will be balance, as long as I keep Lust and Ego under tight control. And do not let the fear of the Lady drive me backwards.

This pertains to the future, Sage and Harmony, and considering that 21st December 2012, the new long term calendar of the Mayan starts on the 22nd where according to the Mayan and Hopi Indians Humans will have an upgrade in mental awareness, is not that far away, it will be very interesting indeed.

SUPER SWEET BLOGGING AWARD   1 comment

SUPER SWEET BLOGGING AWARD

PUBLISHED 13th September 2012

Thank you so much to Luna at thebruisedcandle for the nomination. But I do not think that I can accept this award, or any other for that matter, but please feel free to read and nominate any of those who are listed below. Awards are not why I came on here, and it was making me very uncomfortable over the last 24 hours. Sorry Luna, but thank you all the same.

Having read their blog, I think that it is a great place to start if you are starting out upon your Path, very well worth the Visit.

  1. aheathenspath
  2. crystalearthspirit
  3. draculawidow
  4. ibasoubliyet
  5. greattininess
  6. thelifeandtimesofaforeverwitch
  7. thesumofeverythingdotcom1
  8. ellisnelson
  9. elfkat
  10. yewgrove
  11. mistressbabylonconsort
  12. cauldronandbrew
  13. eklecticsoul
  14. primordialearthsky
  15. twilightpath
  16. thedruidbird
  17. roguepriest
  18. asatrublog
  19. paganquest
  20. smokefromthetemple
  21. ansidhean
  22. rosedixon
  23. gcsummers
  24. beyond-dead
  25. charlotteshirvington
  26. ihaveseengod
  27. lateralloveaustralia

Those blogs above I have read and I have found them interesting, as you may well do.

Magical Weapons   Leave a comment

Magical Weapons

Some Paths and traditions fully adhere to the need for the Witch/Magician to have a full arsenal of weapons, stating that to focus the Will you need to wield the weapon, either physically or if you have the ability, (some have but most do not, I am one of the latter) using the imagination only to create the weapon. Such open hand techniques are usually only able to be done by very skilled practitioners who are Adepts within their Paths.

So, are they really necessary? Personal choice, as usual, but with some like the Pentacle it is a sensible precaution and some would say very necessary when Working especially within Ritual. Also casting the Shield will also help the Workers to focus their minds to the Magic being created. I have used all the weapons way back when I was performing Rituals when I was into the Roman Gods. Later when I was guided to the Irish Gods I tried to use Rituals but it just felt uncomfortable. Which is when I started to explore the Way of the Shaman.

Usually I do not use the weapons now, but I still have the ring and a dagger, which is a Sikh Ceremonial Dagger, and I now use my Sigel set as the Cup. But apart from the Set, I do not use weapons. Sometimes when they are being helpful, I get important messages through Visions, but this only happens on a rare occurrence. The meaning comes upto a few days later. But do I really need to use the weapons? I cast no circle, I can focus my Will to Heal or Hex just by concentration.

The only one which I never got the idea for, despite it being explained several times, is the Lamp, or Soul. Why do I need to try to focus on my Kai, my lifeforce. It is there when I heal or hex. It is always there when I Work. My Will focuses and sends my Kai. Why do I need to try to create a Weapon which is my Kai? I have never understood that, but maybe I am just missing the point, or just Dense.

So I do not use the circle, wand or sword, so how do I Work? Well that it the question, is it not. How to explain, that is the problem. Scattered around are various examples, including within the Balance page, outside that generally I just ask, and by focusing my Will, maybe my request is granted, sometimes not, depending on the Universal Kai, and the blessing of my Gods. One which has not been granted is Freedom, but there is a reason why I was denied, it is just I know not the answer. Also my ending has not happened, again I know not why, I only wish I did, what is the lesson that I have still to learn, which I have not yet learned.

Some have said that there is no point to life, existence, others say that there is eternal Heaven or Hell awaiting you, and yet others say that you will forever be reborn from the Chaos of creation and re-incarnate endlessly. Well you know what I think, unless this is the first page you have read, but it is written elsewhere. Personally I think that there is a point to life, otherwise why bother at all. The point is to learn from life, all life is an experience, as they say Experience Life to Live Life. If you have finished learning you have finished living.

Posted September 6, 2012 by davescallon in Alt. Beliefs, Brid, Danu, Earth, Magic, Magick, Occult, Shaman

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