Archive for the ‘Irish Otherworld’ Tag

Loss   9 comments

How to define without coming across as a whiny whinge moron.

Do not know so to hell with it and I will do it anyway.

So my lesson which I have to learn is Loss, which most people suffer from at some time in their life, so why this? I do not know. How much is enough, and how can you write or explain how it felt 30 years ago, or even 2 weeks, so someone else can understand, not sympathise, but just understand. Tricky, but I would not be trying if it were not important.

First thing first, how do I know it is Loss I need to learn? Because over the last couple of days I have been told this direct into the brain, not a suggestion, but as Fact. The “other” way The Gods talk to me, rather than through dream/visions, of which I had the confirming one this morning just before I woke up. But I will come to that in a bit.

But over the last few days I have been thinking about what have I lost, important things, over the years. And some of these I have not thought about for years. Memories have been stirred, and in the past I have thought about and accepted, so the Pain has been dealt with.

So going back, way back, when I was 3ish being put in care in East London because mother Rita could not cope with 3 small kids between 1 and 5 after him leaving her. I have remembered snapshots of me running away from care back to mother in tears and her sending me back into care. How the hell I found Rita I know not, but I was probably guided to her by Andi and my Gods, even back then.

Fast forward a few years to 6 and my only friend in school was Samantha Wild, She was the only one to play with me, but then her family moved to Scotland. I lost my only friend in the world. I still think about her now and again.

Age 7. I was told, no forbidden, to phone Rita ever again, only because she told him that I was not his. From that day I lost my pride, self-respect, self-confidence, and then the shit really hit the fan at home. Including self-destruction, well I tried anyway.

Whiz forward, see the years fly by to when I was 16, found the Voice, the first Woman I ever Loved, but not in love with. My Angel.

17 Started to lose mobility, sleep and ability due to the disease which is raping every joint in my body, from my neck down to my toes. The older I get, the less movement from my joints and the more pain. DNA, I was made this way.

21 Angel disappeared from public view, I was crushed, despite many letters sent to Her, asking to work with Her, all were sent back RTS.

24 Lost my father and everything I thought I knew about me when he told me I was a bastard, “no son of mine”. Including my place within the “Family home” Guilt, Rage, Pain, Anger, but most of all Loss.

24/5 Lost my nephew aged about 7. No age to die, even though I bargained with Morrigan, my Dark Queen, I still remained and She took him.

28 Lost my freedom, although I knew it not then, but I know it now. Also I further lost any self-respect or pride over the years. It is just that I did not see it until it was way too late. Also lost my only two goods friends, due to situations beyond my control.

30 Angel came back into public view

31/2 Angel went from public view, again. Once again my loss.

33ish Finally lost my mind to depression, about 8 years in a wasteland, living on auto pilot not giving a shit about anything, least of all myself. Just doing to keep the family fed and clothed and amused.

40ish Angel on FB, me on FB, me told Angel how I felt, me left FB

41 Angel left FB

41 Lost my ability to leave due to conscience.

Sept last year, got Greebo, 6 week old black tabby tom kitten, which we were told was female and black

2 weeks ago, Greebo went out for the loo, and as not come back, with no sight nor sound of Him in this entire estate. That ripped the guts out of me. I have been in tears about that.

Even more so over the last 5 years or so, eyes are getting worse, short term memory is getting worse, and spelling is really getting worse. Even Long term is going a bit, songs which I have known and sang along to for years I can not remember the words. Also lost the ability to play guitar and I have not been able to meditate for more that 20 minutes for so long. And my ability to visualise has also gone to the wall.

Thursday last, I asked why must I keep losing out, why am I a loser. I was told To Learn.

This Morning (Saturday) (dream/vision) I was wearing my Studded Leather Jacket. Some kid standing behind me near a group of others I turned around, away, he jumped onto my back. I flipped my shoulders and he fell onto the floor, face first. I was kicking at his face, pulled his head back and slammed it again and again into the floor, (which is NOT how I do things, I wait for them to get up and then knock them down again, when they do not get up, I walk away. I Have Rules). By rights not even his dentist would have been able to identify him after what I did to his face. Yet not one drop of blood anywhere. I then bodily picked him up. One hand on his collar the other on his seat, raised him above my head and threw him head first onto the ground. In reality I have a fucked back and a very fucked hand. I might be able to pick up a cat, but not a person.

First reaction upon waking was Gods I am going to lose it in a fight, but then clarification came through, direct into my brain. Where Bloodless fighting, no-one dies, where? Everisle, the Land of Eternal Youth. Warrior skills and feats and tests, but no blood and no-one dies. The Home of the Gods and my Ancestors.

So have I learned my lesson? I think so, they think maybe. I will die and pass onwards with my Dark Queen to Everisle, where I will be whole and welcomed.

But it appears that I can not go just yet. But I really do not care anymore, I am going and passing over to there somewhen. It will happen, so what is a few years more. Why can I not go yet? I still have a job to do, which is look after Hilary, regardless of my ability, I have to look after her. For if I go then Jinkx will have to look after her Mother, and that will not be fair on the Kid. It is hard enough for me, let alone someone else having to do it. So I wait for Hil to pass over, wherever She decides to go to upon her death, then I will pass onwards and be judged worthy of my Gods and Ancestors.

 

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Death   Leave a comment

Death comes to us all and in my Path Morrigan the Phantom Queen of Death and War will chose the slain and judge. But what happens to the body? Having done some research for my book I have found that there are three options. Interned in a grave or barrow with some grave goods, namely food, or burned in a pyre and then interned within a barrow or other sacred place. The third is reserved for those who deserve no better, those who have committed heinous crimes, and they are tied and placed facedown into a bog.

Now I have found little evidence of a Death Penalty imposed in general use, so these crimes must have been very serious indeed, and because things were not written down until after the Druid class was all but wiped out and then only after the Christians came and the Book of Kells was written.

To be fair, I have not had the opportunity to really study the Kells, not being able to read much Irish, and translating from old Irish to modern English is beyond my capabilities.

Was the different interns for different classes or different deaths, probably the former rather than the latter, with the higher classes and learned craftsmen being buried with grave goods while the peasants and slaves were burned, probably without grave goods.

This is only speculation on my part but I do not really think that it would make much difference to the outcome of the Kai’s journey onwards, either to the Underworld or the Otherworld. As to whether Morrigan would personally turn up for every Death, I do not think so, only those deemed important enough, and not just of status or standing. For She was the Queen of the Shee, and I am guessing that for the most part, it is they who would turn up, otherwise Morrigan would be very busy with a population of tens of thousands, a lot of people dying every day, maybe about 4-5 every hour or hundreds if there was a battle.

But now with maybe a few hundred who really believe throughout the world of over 7 billion, maybe She would turn up herself. But I have already decided what I am doing with my body, written elsewhere on here, but what is my Status with regards to my ancestors, and what should I do? In today’s society I am working class, (peasant), but I was a fair wordsmith and a not bad guitarist, so would my ancestors class me as a Bard? A Learned man. Also I was a quite good fighter with sword and spear so I would have been a solider or Guard had I been there then, and then was now. Also my Path is Shaman based, which I class myself as, so would I have been a Druid class? Druid, Guard (retired), Bard (retired), in one package, but peasant still.

No this is not a case of Ego! Just stating facts of what I have taught and been taught. And yet I still just class myself as working class, rather than a leader or some such. Regardless that I teach and have taught fighting skill to others, and my Path on here and face to face, namely to my daughter Jinkx over the last few years, since she decided who and what she worshiped and sort my advice. So am I going against my class by wanting to be burned on a pyre, or does it not really matter, just as long as I do die sometime. Gods but that would be a nightmare for me, left alive, unable to pass over.

But according to some, these Isles were drenched in the blood of human and animal sacrifices, and yet I have found no evidence to corroborate these claims. Granted these claims came from Christian and Roman sources, neither who had much good to say about my ancestors. The Wicker Man is one such version, and a culture who did not have a general Death Penalty and who revered all life would stuff animals still alive, plants and at least one human as a sacrifice to Brid, Goddess of the Land, to guarantee a good harvest. Yes I am biased, but how comes we would even think of doing that? And What became of the Kai of all of the victims, animal and vegetable? What a massive waste of food, when the right prayer and a small offering would, (and has) sufficed. If I did this then I would really despise myself for the rest of my life. Burned alive, what an evil thing to do, yes evil and wicked. And you would be judged as such by the Phantom Queen herself. Down to Labraid and returned to Earth to face your punishment.

But what is Labraid and the Underworld? Some has been covered with the Otherworld, Land of Eternal Youth etc. But I have found not much on the Underworld. A Christian Hell? I really do not think so, the whole culture of the Gods and the people does not point to something like this, and besides, more souls would pass through this way and back to Earth than onwards to the Otherworld.

So Fire and Brimstone, nope. Big Red scary horned demon God? Nope. Labraid has been depicted as a older man, more akin to the Christian God. A massive Hall where the Kai’s journey and lessons are given and eventually reborn back onto this world to learn their lesson and continual their journey, and maybe next time, onwards to the Otherworld. Not a place to fear, unlike most other Faiths, (but not the Chinese, who have a massive underworld, populated by hundreds of clerks and sending the soul onwards depending on the life and type of death they had).

 

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